In India, Civil Services are considered one of the noblest jobs (why? …haven’t found the answer yet) perhaps, it may be one of the powerful posts, one can move in red-beacons, there are salutes everywhere you go, you are considered as one of the profound personalities in your society, and many more…..however, I have also been the victim of the same (as my parents as well as relatives always pressurised to pursue the services) and it’s always been a mystery for me that why they think that I deserve for the services (as I have found myself totally unorganized so-far) ……since the announcement of the mains (written) result, I realized that yes! Miracles do happen, I did my hair-cut, clean-shaved, started wearing trousers, full-sleeve shirts and formal shoes (instead of Gamachhas and Chappals) …. And in-between all these I was lamenting for no reason …I was missing my-self somewhere ….is this necessary to transform my natural instinct for the sake of a job? …is this necessary to be artificial in order to be a successful person? … A quiz started with my-self including such questionnaires.
However, the day arrived when I had to depart from Chandigarh to Delhi for my Personality Test which was scheduled in the UPSC, I was accompanied by my uncle-cum- friend (a day before my interview) and throughout the journey I was thinking about my life, about my existence, what all this is going on?...I am only a step away to realize the dream of my father, will I make it or not?.... is this what I am made for? ….am I going to be a perfect citizen? …..will all my evils be washed away with the grab of this job? …will all my sorrows be diminished if I am getting selected? …….this was the second round of quiz with my-self.
I woke up 4 in the morning (the day of my Personality Test), there was an unprecedented silence all-around and I could hear the sound of my breathe clearly, amid this silence, suddenly I felt being lonely on this planet, I was scared for-a-while and then I conglomerated all my conscience and focussed on-to my target (the artificial target), I went for a walk but could not go far as I saw a stray dog in the way and feared over the culture of Delhi. I returned to my room (where I stayed) and got my-self ready for the interview.
I had to report UPSC by 9 in the morning and I reached over there half an hour earlier, I found that other mates were already there in front of the UPSC main-gate. I glanced over them and started comparing their personalities with mine (it was really deteriorating in-fact as they were far more good-looking and smarter), will they overcome my personality? …..will they be selected and I will be rejected? ….that guy in purple shirt is looking very smart (why have I not opted for a purple shirt?) ….that girl in blue Salwar-Suit is looking very decent (she will definitely out-perform) ….look at that person in heavy-spectacles (he is looking very bibliophilic) will he answer all the questions? ……look at me (I am the worst out of them) why have I come here since there is no chance of my selection amid them? ……….this was the third round of quiz with my-self.
By the 9 am in the clock, the gate was opened and I marked my first step into the most aspired building of our country, I was thrilled with an auspicious feeling, I was finally there to where my father had dreamt of to see me. But this is not the only what he meant for, there is still a step to go (a big step in-fact), I have to do something right now, right here and there is no other option but to clear this ultimate level in my favour …o.k. let’s see how it happens!
I was assigned the board of Shri. I.M.G. Khan and I was the last one among the six candidates (Nagma, Meenakshi, Dheeraj, Shupriya, Gautami and me) to be interviewed in that board.
Dheeraj was the first candidate called for the test and it was 9:40 am when he entered the board.
I was there with five girls in the lobby and started waiting if any of them start talking to me and it took almost 15 minutes that Shupriya broke the silence and soon we all were involved in the conversation with each other.
Dheeraj came out of the board at 10:05 am, he was looking confident but little nervous. When we asked about his interview he smiled and said it was good and then moved out of the lobby.
